The prospect of Mother’s Day after losing a child can be extremely challenging for anyone struggling with grief and loss. Whether it’s the first Mother’s Day or the tenth, it’s a day that’s extremely difficult to navigate. It can also be hard for others to understand, particularly if they haven’t experienced the loss themselves.
We’ve explored some ideas that will hopefully help soften the immense difficulty of the day. However, it’s important to acknowledge that grief is unique to the person experiencing it, and the most essential consideration is to remember to be kind to yourself.
Please note: It’s OK to ask for help if you’re struggling. Nobody should go through grief alone. Specialist charities, including Child Bereavement UK and Cruse Bereavement Support, are good places to start.
Put Yourself First
Grieving is emotionally and physically draining. Don’t feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to do. Instead, think about what will really make you feel OK on the day. This could mean going for a long walk, spending the day watching your favourite films or taking yourself on a day trip. It could be on your own or with company – whatever you think will make you feel better.
Think about the basics of looking after yourself too. It might be easier said than done, but try to get a good night’s sleep the evening before, so you can feel as strong as possible on the day. If you can, start or finish your day with a soak in the bath, add some calming essential oils or light a scented candle to help you relax. Make sure you have food in the house and keep yourself hydrated. Watch your alcohol intake, as alcohol is a depressant and can often worsen strong feelings. Do whatever you can to take good care of yourself.
Communicate With Your Loved Ones About How You’d Like To Spend The Day
Let family and friends know how you feel about Mother’s Day and how they can help and support you to get through it. They might want to take you out for the day or pop round for a cup of tea. Even simply knowing they’re on the other end of the phone, or just a car ride away, if you need them, can be an enormous comfort.
If you don’t feel like being sociable and would prefer to be alone, do communicate this to your loved ones. But be wary of being on your own completely. We can often isolate ourselves in our grief if we’re struggling to express our thoughts and feelings.
Connect With Your Child (If It’s Something You Wish To Do)
Mother’s Day might be an occasion that you feel you want to connect with your child. You might want to visit their resting place, write a letter to them, or look through a memory box. This can be a lovely way to pay tribute to them and bring incredible comfort, but understandably, it can take time to get to this place. If your grief is still fresh or you don’t feel ready, mark the day in the best way for you.
Go Offline
It can feel impossible to escape from Mother’s Day marketing on TV adverts and social media. One way to remove yourself is to go offline for the day. Take a walk and breathe in the fresh air. You could do this alone (perhaps with a podcast, audiobook or your favourite music) or with a loved one who understands what you’re going through. Turn your phone off or put it on airplane mode for the day to avoid the adverts and declarations of love on social media.
Sensitive But Heartfelt Gifts For Those Grieving
Memorial jewellery is a sensitive subject, but many mothers and families we’ve worked with over the years have told us how much comfort these treasured keepsakes have brought them during their darkest times. If you are looking for a piece of jewellery representing a precious child, or if you want to buy a gift for someone who might find Mother’s Day difficult this year, perhaps you might like to look at our memorial range. Pieces like these give people something they can treasure forever. We appreciate the responsibility of creating memorial jewellery, and we handle every request with complete love, care and respect.
Cremation Ashes Jewellery
We offer two different types of cremation ashes jewellery at Hand on Heart. The first is self-fill lockets, which customers can do themselves at home. The second is jewellery made from the cremation ashes. These are set into glass appearance resin and delicately layered to create a sparkling, floating appearance in a hard-wearing material that will last forever. The cremation ashes jewellery is available in different designs, including necklaces, rings, bracelets, beads, cufflinks and earrings.
Memorial Fingerprint Jewellery
Using the true prints from a loved one, we will create a piece of memorial fingerprint jewellery to keep them close to your heart forever. Memorial fingerprints are typically different to work with, but our specialist designers are highly experienced and skilled in extracting the very best detail to feature on your piece. We strongly recommend ordering from this range rather than our other fingerprint jewellery to obtain the very best result if using memorial prints.
A Final Note From Us To You
We understand the sensitivity of Mother’s Day and how difficult it must be for anyone who has lost a child, no matter how much time has passed. We hope this blog has offered some advice or ideas about coping on this date when you’re grieving, or if you know somebody going through the complex and unique experience of grief. We mentioned it at the start of this blog, but we think it’s important to say again that you don’t have to go through this alone; help is out there. Specialist charities, including Child Bereavement UK and Cruse Bereavement Support, are good places to start if you need to speak to somebody, or if you know someone who might benefit from support.
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